I have lived fear.
I have made personal acquaintance with it. I have actually relied on it, like a [very] bad best friend.
Fighting fear and anxiety has been an exhausting battle for me that has spanned decades. As anyone knows that has had this battle, it is not an easy road.
I have to say some days my faith feels as strong as a blade of grass...but it's really is amazing....He is really just trying to get me to have faith and even if I give Him a hair-breadth of faith.....it really is strong enough to hold me, because He comes in through that hair, that tiny electron or quark, and all of His Strength comes in with it.
Anxiety coupled with self-consciousness makes me want to shut down and close in on myself, because it feels safer, but ironically it is not. The road to confident stability and victory lies in opening up and looking to Him.
This morning, the social anxiety was pounding against me. I looked to Him and saw myself. He showed me, it was like I was cringing, expecting something terrible to happen. That revelation changed me. I was able to show compassion to my students and lead them in a calm and kind manner.
There are times I just long for Heaven and Home because I get so tired of it all, but I know He has a purpose for me, for my life, anxiety and all. I also know there are people and children out there that I am sent to, to help. This makes this arduous life worth living. Them. The children I serve and the people I have yet to help.
God bless you in Jesus name
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