Voices in our heads

 

There are things that people will say to you....you have to choose not to believe.

You have to choose....are you going to believe the negative things, or are you going to believe what God says about you.

Sometimes the worst voices are in our own heads, but we live terrified that someone will actually corroborate what we believe about ourselves and we will be in despair, thinking,  "it's true, then."

Sometimes it's a daily battle, but it is usually strongest when you are embarking on a new venture...for me, anytime I do a social outing or sponsor a social activity... 

Going somewhere?

 

I was thinking today about the verse in the bible that says...."as they went, they were healed."    

Sometimes I would get a little perturbed at God because....like,  Here I am going, God!  I don't see this healing.  Why are you letting me go through this? (Why do I have to go through this)?

It's not the going that heals you,  it's the faith that is required for the going....I didn't know how weak I (my faith) was until I started this path/journey.  

This faith also involves surrender....because it is not WE who do it (whatever it is God is requiring you to do that is really impossible for you).  We surrender to the Lord.  We lay down all our weapons and shields (of self-protection) and say,  "I am Yours, Lord.  Please do through me what I am incapable of doing on my own.  

Amen.

When a garage sale turns into a life lesson

My friend came to go garage-saling with me.  I was looking forward to it.  

But I was tired.  I was so tired, but I drug myself out of bed after hitting the snooze for the fourth time.  She was all perky and ready to go.  

She talked of leaving without me.  That kicked me into gear a little.  I got dressed quickly.  She put my dog out to save me time. 

Then came the first disagreement.  I thought we should ride together.  She thought we should ride separately.  I stood there frustrated, looking at her and she staring back at me.  

"Well, I guess"....I reluctantly said as I got into my car."

She wanted to go to a certain sale and I wanted to get a newspaper that showed the listings....on and on the disagreements kept mounting.  Finally we just went our separate ways.  

I got more and more disgusted as I walked around the sales by myself.  I pouted to myself,  "I wouldn't even have gone if she hadn't wanted me to go and here I am going around by myself."  

Eventually I went back home.  

After I got home, the big evil self pity monster really struck!  I started thinking about how de-valued I felt and remembered how someone else I loved had treated me that same way.  Then I started down a terrible familiar path of feeling totally unloved and unworthy.  The tears were really rolling then!  Yikes!  

But after awhile,  I heard her come into the house and I knew I needed to get myself together.  I was praying sputtering prayers this whole time!   Which sounded like, "Lord, help me!"

Well, the turning point in the battle with the self-pity monster finally came.  I have this trick of waiting on the Lord when I don't have what I need inside of me.  Just looking to Him in faith.

Anyway, I remember pulling my drapes open and staring at the day outside and my beautiful, but pitiful (like me, lol). geranium and I started saying to myself....over and over and over.

"I respect myself."

wow,  I liked the way I began to feel...more strong, confident.  The sniveling soon stopped.  I became more and more calm.  I think I also reminded myself of how much the Lord valued me and just how valuable in general I am!  

So eventually got myself together enough that I knew what I was going to say to her.  Which was eons better than what I originally wanted to say and I am sure it would have been bad for our friendship....it would have made me seem like an overreacting, petulant, large child!  :) 

So, I just calmly told her that if she wanted to go garage-saling by herself, that was fine, but, in the future, please do not invite me if you do not intend to go with me.  

She then in turn expressed her feelings to me which included some missed appointments (me missing meeting places, taking too long to get there, etc).  

So even though our conflict was really not resolved, the feelings and statements that needed to be aired were and there was peace in our friendship (which is the most valued thing that needs to be protected).  

Surprise!-Nature's Gifts

 

I was thinking how the Creator must love surprises as much as I do.  

I was imagining how He must've laughed at the first person trying to open a coconut  and smiled a warm smile at the delight of the yummy rich goodness inside.  

Belief for Bitterness

 

Letter to my friends:

I just wanted to share some VICTORY I've had lately.  I know that something God has taught me recently is that I haven't had the faith I've needed in the past.   And sometimes faith seems like an ethereal, illusive thing to all of us.  So, the reason I have not had victory (in the past). of developing a positive self image was because I was not putting ALL my faith effort (all my strength-muscles) :).  into believing the things that were said about me.  I can see this in some of my other friends with low esteem as well.  It's like lots of people could say nice things and it didn't even matter.  It was hard to believe those things.  God showed me that I had to deliberately BELIEVE.  THere is some amount of wounded pride within me.  I don't know everything, but I do know the price for getting rid of this, is deliberately opening up.  It feels painful,  and I know there are ways I was shut tight as a clam (and preferred life that way)!  lol.  Although I didn't.  Life is pretty miserable as a clam, actually,   At least, it is not nearly as fun! as all those other outgoing creatures swimming around and having a blast with their life!  

I thank God for revealing these things to me and I look forward to seeing what He is going to do in my life!  

And I hope the lives of others as well.  :)

Sometimes it's hard to choose belief, but it is like choosing hell or heaven.....really.

Promise

 

You thrill me with miracles

You gave me a promise      You seal it with signs...

Thank You Lord for Your comfort.  A promise,  that You have good plans for me, even for marriage.

And when I cry and doubt, you send me signs....incredible timing....Gifts from children,  

Doubting thoughts this morning; I look out the window;  and there is another one, driven like a spear into the grass....         Thank You 

Cha Cha Cha

 Cha- Cha-Cha,,,,

I was thinking I would let you in on some secrets

I have discovered.

Ways to make a vacation in your home town...

Even if all you can afford is a meal out or a walk about!

Something I have done to make even a restaurant

visit more interesting (while waiting for the food) is

to take pictures of 'house decor'. ....Then I compile them or feed out clues meagerly, (depending on what kind of mood I'm in) to my friends on Facebook......The game is "guess where I'm at?"  It's interesting that sometimes people can't get places 20 miles away sometimes (I make it harder with what I post when it's close) but can get places that are 2 hours away.

Once I was in a quite obscure restaurant in Omaha, NE and I knew no one on my feed would recognize it, although I do have a few Omaha native friends...But. if they were really serious about my game,  they actually could have zoomed in on my photo, as the napkin holder in the background had the name on it.  

But, I guess their were no Ferraris at stake or anything like that, so sometimes people don't care to put forth the effort!  :)

Other ways to make local fun

-take in the tourist attractions as if you were a tourist instead of a native. Wear the get up.  Ask the tour guide crazy, weird and stupid questions!  Enjoy the reactions.  :)  LOL

-go a little 'crazy'.....we've dressed up in biker outfits on Sturgis rally weekend and ate in restaurants (but stayed in our home town)....we've asked bikers if we could do a photo op on or near their bike.  (i've never had the nerve to ask for a ride, but that might be fun as well).  Sometimes, we've worn evening gowns out to eat at a local place.....sometimes I wear crazy hats.....makes life more fun! :). 

-read up on the history of your area.  look up the public places on the historic registry and check them out. 

-visit local museums, shops, bookstores and libraries 

-meet new people

-record the flora and fauna of your area.  (I live in a rural area, so it's pretty easy).   I take lots of nature hikes and take picture of anything I see that I don't recognize by name and either google it or post it to a FB group I'm in to find the name of it. 

That's all I got for today.  Cheers!