How to pick what to do when you have some extra time on your hands.

How to pick what to do when you have some extra time on your hands.

So, with all this extra time on my hands, it's been interesting.
I'm sure a lot of you are like me,  I know some of you are anyway!  I have activities up the Yangtze River that I could be accomplishing.  I could be painting, both artwork and my house.  I have dozens of unfinished projects laying around.

I decided the questions to ask to help me maintain priorities during this time are:
 "If you get to the end of your life and this is not done, will it matter?"
"Which items on your list will help you out the most in the future to have done? (It will be a relief, it is something that is Needed).

Joy and the purpose of life

God wants us to have joy in our lives, but that is not the main purpose of our life.  If that is all we are seeking, we are heading in the wrong direction; we are lost.
We need proper balance in our lives...seeking God and His will should be paramount, but it comes very natural to us to also seek our own joy.  

Why do people have children?  I believe mostly the answer is joy.  Children provide joy and completeness, wholeness and balance to our lives.

Why do people sing and dance and draw and write and play sports and watch sports?
I believe the answer also is joy.  peace.   pleasure.   Different people find their joy in different things.

Why do we seek the company of like-minded individuals? (Why do we socialize)?  Again,  you know the answer to this... -Joy-   This is also an inherit need in our life. We need people.

Some people find fulfillment and joy in their work (the lucky ones). :)  They excel at something and they get paid to do it!  Some people may not naturally enjoy their work,  but they choose joy.  This is actually possible but requires a lot of mind bending;  a lot of mental work! :)

For the devout believer, there is another Place where joy is found, a Holy, Sacred Place.  This is in the presence of God.  Yes, God is present in the joy of our children,  He is present in the joy of our hobbies and watching others perform hobbies that they excel at.  He is present in our pleasure/enjoyment of people and in our enjoyment of work (if it is all in proper perspective).  The minute those things become our life, He is no longer in it.
But Joy in the Presence of God, for those who have experienced it, is like no other joy.  I could describe it, but until you know it, it won't mean anything to you.  He is available to all who seek Him.  If you seek to find joy in His presence, you will not be denied.  Those who find Him find peace, love, kindness and  inexplicable forgiveness and love and joy.  "Where your treasure is, there will your heart be".  Luke 12:34

But this dissertation about joy does not explain something else in life.  Sorrow.  Suffering.  Death.  These words that command the silence of a room.

 We all know, that these, also, are a part of life.  No one wants them or enjoys them.
But as a Christian, we look to Jesus' death on the cross as the ultimate in willing suffering.  He chose to be tortured for us.  Most of us would not choose suffering if we had an option.  Suffering is just there and we endure it as best we can.  Many Christians around the world choose actions that cause suffering for themselves.  Many more Christians choose to suffer with those that are already suffering, which actually bears the burden of suffering and causes true empathists suffering as well. Why?
This is where the labyrinth tunnel gets very twisted and there are so many different paths that 'I', the writer can take.  The answer is that choosing to suffer with God is more desirable than the other outcome;  continuous willfully disobedient suffering.  There is a peace that "passes understanding" for those that are suffering in the will of God versus those that suffer as a consequence of their own inpalitable actions.  That type of suffering (in the will of God) is worth it for those who figuratively hold God's hand through it.  His Presence is with you.  It is the kind of Presence that is dear and comforting.  It is warmth, kindness and healing in the midst of intense pain (both emotional and physical).  This type of inexplicable comfort of never being left to suffer and die alone.  NEVER.
Most people that have experienced any type of intense suffering and have had His presence say that He made the suffering endurable.  And it is hard to imagine anyone not wanting to have comfort in the midst of intense suffering.

So this diatribe was to tell you (and work through myself) the balance seeking of pleasure for ourselves and of allowing into our lives, suffering in the will of God (for example, joining some type of humanitarian effort that will probably cause you some suffering).

The long and short of all this is to 1) Wait sweetly upon God (be actively reading His word and talking to Him in prayer) 2) Do what He tells you to do  3) Be ready for the call....because he will call you to do something  4) Be willing to abandon your thing that gives you joy;  (Anytime you give something up for Him, He fill that hole many times over with something better-although it might not be what you expect).

Surprise!

I read a blog about how a man prayed and asked God to surprise him that day!   How sweet, I thought,  I LOVE surprises.  I will try that. 

Then, as I was thinking of this,  all the ways I had been 'surprised' lately came flooding into my mind and I had to offer up many thanks for the many ways God has already 'surprised me'. 
-a beautiful new journal (reasonably priced) with my favorite colors and subject matter depicted artistically on the front that I found in an unusual place digging through a bunch of office supplies while on a trip to buy stuff for work.  NOT LOOKING FOR IT.   SURPRISE!  :)
-getting to go to an auction with my mom,  that ended up being very entertaining.  I also saw some old friends and made some friends there,  one of which turned into a date :)....a very good SURPRISE!
-visiting my son's church, meeting some wonderful people, some with the same careers as me, some with careers I've always wanted, being ministered to by the wonderful pastors there (including my son),  eating great food and garnering a few new recipes/food ideas.
-finding an audio book by my favorite fiction writer on my library app for the drive home...FREE!  LOVE those surprises, too!  :)
-ooooh . getting to go 'all the way across town' . (my son is soooo accommodating)!  to the only tea store that I've ever known, so to me it is the best in the world (but I have yet to find better tea) and sample butterfly blue tea (Quite surprising and amazing)-  I'll take a picture next time,  it was beautiful and good.
Never mind.....why should I when there are better pics on the internet?  Anyway, this is it!
I can't tell you why,  but there is something very peaceful about a pretty cup of tea!
-mmmmm
the restaurant we ate at in the strip mall nearby had the best baked onion soup!
-lately
being under some duress at school, I was surprised by my student finding some stress-relieving music and playing it during class!  (she is only a 4th grader-have to think it was a 'God thing' :)   It really helped!
-oh   I could probably go on forever, if I kept thinking about it,  but it is now time to surprise myself with a good breakfast!  LOL

You will not want to look at this post.

The image of 'gehenna' and 'maggots' means decomposition. Once a body is dead it loses its beauty and strength and coherence, it begins to break into its constituent parts, to stink and to disintegrate. So what is a 'totaled' human soul? It does not cease to exist, but rather becomes completely incapable of all the things a human soul is for--reasoning, feeling, choosing, giving or receiving love or joy. Why? Because the human soul was built for worshipping and enjoying the true God, and all truly human life flows from that. In this world, all of humanity, even those who have turned away from God, still are supported by 'kindly providences' or 'common grace' (Acts 14:16-17; Psalm 104:10-30; James 1:17) keeping us still capable of wisdom, love, joy, and goodness. But when we lose God's supportive presence all together, the result is hell.

Okay,  I did warn you!

Hell begins with a grumbling mood, always complaining, always blaming others . . . but you are still distinct from it. You may even criticize it in yourself and wish you could stop it. But there may come a day when you can no longer. Then there will be no you left to criticize the mood or even to enjoy it, but just the grumble itself, going on forever like a machine. It is not a question of God 'sending us' to hell. In each of us there is something growing, which will BE Hell unless it is nipped in the bud.

 We run from the presence of God and therefore God actively gives us up to our desire (Romans 1:24, 26.) Hell is therefore a prison in which the doors are first locked from the inside by us and therefore are locked from the outside by God (Luke 16:26.) Every indication is that those doors continue to stay forever barred from the inside. Though every knee and tongue in hell knows that Jesus is Lord (Philippians 2:10-11,) no one can seek or want that Lordship without the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 12:3.This is why we can say that no one goes to hell who does not choose both to go and to stay there. What could be more fair than that?

So what about Jesus?  In Matthew 10:28 Jesus says that no physical destruction can be compared with the spiritual destruction of hell, of losing the presence of God. But this is exactly what happened to Jesus on the cross-he was forsaken by the Father (Matthew 27:46.) In Luke 16:24 the rich man in hell is desperately thirsty (v.24) and on the cross Jesus said "I thirst" (John 19:28.) The water of life, the presence of God, was taken from him. The point is this. Unless we come to grips with this "terrible" doctrine, we will never even begin to understand the depths of what Jesus did for us on the cross. His body was being destroyed in the worst possible way, but that was a flea bite compared to what was happening to his soul. When he cried out that his God had forsaken him he was experiencing hell itself. But consider--if our debt for sin is so great that it is never paid off there, but our hell stretches on for eternity, then what are we to conclude from the fact that Jesus said the payment was "finished" (John 19:30) after only three hours? We learn that what he felt on the cross was far worse and deeper than all of our deserved hells put together.

"The results of his suffering he shall see, and shall be satisfied" (Isaiah 53:11). This is a stupendous thought. Jesus suffered infinitely more than any human soul in eternal hell, yet he looks at us and says, "It was worth it." What could make us feel more loved and valued than that? The Savior presented in the gospel waded through hell itself rather than lose us, and no other savior ever depicted has loved us at such a cost.

If we say hell does not exist..... we have to realize we are saying to Jesus, the pre-eminent teacher of love and grace in history, "I am less barbaric than you, Jesus--I am more compassionate and wiser than you." Surely that should give us pause! Indeed, upon reflection, it is because of the doctrine of judgment and hell that Jesus' proclamations of grace and love are so astounding.

Why talk about the afterlife?   First, it tells us that people only get in the afterlife what they have most wanted-either to have God as Savior and Master or to be their own Saviors and Masters. Secondly, it tells us that hell is a natural consequence. Even in this world it is clear that self-centeredness rather than God-centeredness makes you miserable and blind. The more self-centered, self-absorbed, self-pitying, and self-justifying people are, the more breakdowns occur, relationally, psychologically, and even physically. They also go deeper into denial about the source of their problems.

On the other hand, a soul that has decided to center its life on God and his glory moves toward increasing joy and wholeness. We can see both of these 'trajectories' even in this life. But if, as the Bible teaches, our souls will go on forever, then just imagine where these two kinds of souls will be in a billion years. Hell is simply one's freely chosen path going on forever. We wanted to get away from God, and God, in his infinite justice, sends us where we wanted to go.

If you want more!  http://www.timothykeller.com/blog/2008/8/1/the-importance-of-hell

This is all from Timothy Keller who is an amazing, phenomenal preacher, clearing up things for me that I have wondered about for decades.

Junk Collectors

I don't really know why I feel compelled to write today....except that it is warm and cozy here by the 'fire'  and looking at art on pinterest makes me feel nostaligic.
I was blessed to attend an auction today.  I know that may seem weird, but I truly love these enterprises.  It is actually a social occasion.  total strangers congregate, meet and talk about stuff and help each other organize and tote their stuff . :) . ...today I was looking through a box of old (1800s) photographs and postcards with a total stranger and another guy I knew.  It was fun. 
Then I got the giggles when the auctioneer kept saying how valuable and wonderful everything was....a very odd assortment of stuff among them, whale teeth.....who can say that they have a whale tooth?"  the auctioneer said? " 
"Who can say they NEED a whale tooth?"  I shot back, laughing.
Other items were broken, and there was a tiny mirror.  The autioneer's recorder said,  "You can see one eye with it!"  I thought that was pretty funny.
"Ooooohhh,  pretty," he says about a bunch of ugly, plastic jewelry.
Joking aside,  there was some cool things there,  presidential buttons from 50 or more years ago,  many valuable coins. It is fun to watch the serious collectors nod when they want to go up or shake heads when the answer is 'no'. 
And, I don't know why, but it is fun to collect old junk!
Someday I would like to write a book about auctions.  It's just such a human experience.  I felt a little embarrassed, but I snapped a few pics....the expressions are priceless.  I just love how everyone talks to one another, jokes around and in general is convivial and downright nice....And there is a part of me that is laughing inside at how seriously some people take their 'junk'.   :) .   
I do love people.
and pumpkin pie
and sour cream raisin.
I got both. 
:)

Christmas

This is what Christmas means to me and moves me to happy tears; the sparkle in a little girls eyes.....

Yesterday, on the Eve of Christmas Eve, I had the honor and privilege of giving some food gifts and toys out to children and families who live where I work.

I sent up some prayers,  that I would buy the right things for everyone as I went shopping.  I visited with the store manager about our mission and he graciously donated a case of summer sausages.  (We happened to be standing in front of them and he spontaneously grabbed a case, marked it "donation" and threw it in my cart).....See, it doesn't have to take much time to give, just heart :) !

Then (tired and busy though I was- you know being a woman, or just a person at Christmas time)-  I say this so you know that I did not jump to go shopping with a spring in my step! -  I began to fill my cart.  My excitement (and fear {the bill}) mounted as I piled bags of oranges, apples, bananas and other assorted items into my cart.  It began to groan when I pushed it.  I literally have NEVER purchased this much at one time in my life! 
And soon it was all over (Thank goodness)!  and I was checking out.  The checkers were very kind and sorted everything into 4 boxes for me.  I was relieved and surprised.  It was actually quite fun! And the bill was less than I thought!

Then came the really fun part! 
This, will stay in my heart forever stamped onto my heart and mind.
We gave to families who had lost a mom and the Aunt's house burgeoned to thirteen children! We gave to other families that didn't have much.  Children know how to celebrate goodness and gifts!  That's why they are so fun to give to.  I know it means much to the quiet parent who says, "Right on!, Thank you so much, This will help.",  but the children....who run and skip and whose eyes light up!...  There's just no compare....
But
One expressive child, we'll call her 'Hope'.....looked into the box in my trunk full of toys she could pick and her eyes moved to the blanket in a bag next to the box....I told her she could have it.  She grabbed it, with joy in her eyes and hope in her heart and said to her brother standing by her,  "Feel it.  It's sooo soft."  I had her pick some toys as well (ignoring my own instruction to "only pick one, we have other children to give to.") . I know this girl from school and she does not speak, nary a word, but she didn't need to, I could see her heart was as full as could be.  The light on Hope's face shone brighter that night than the full moon in the sky and the Christmas lights next door.  Hope skipped back into the house and landed simultaneously upon my heart!

Merry Christmas Everyone

A tiny voice, like a Who down in Whoville

Wow, it's hard to do this on your phone!

I was thinking about this voice that is so rare, almost as rare as the voice that puts themselves last..... But not quite.

This is the voice that denies oneself pleasure for a greater good.  I was thinking again about why I have chosen loneliness and some amount of heart break instead of marrying (or falling into bed with, as people do nowadays) the man I am most attracted to.

The answer amusingly reminds me of how the Japanese built their companies, how their automotive industry obtained huge success.  They did not realize great monetary rewards, but instead kept re-investing and improving their product and sustainability.

So, in this way, I am improving (which is GOD and i) myself. Really, it is He that is improving me and I only have to cooperate with Him. But, maybe loneliness will be short-termed. I actually am finding jewels in this desert of loneliness, of having no one to belong to, no intimacy with a spouse.  Truly, He is building me, into a great cathedral... It's fun to watch Him build.....

But the relationship my flesh desires is really a cheap model.  One that cannot last.... One that would be a broken down vehicle and a lot of misery in the future.   But.....I can change him, he will change!  ....a lot of women say.  Sadly, no he won't. And it's ludicrous to expect him to.

But the vehicle that is "save up now, suffer a little," is the Rolls Royce with great returns.  Even if another great 'vehicle' never comes along, I have built an exponential, un-countable amount of heavenly returns. I know us temporal creatures don't care about that, ... But like your mother or father say, "Some day you will!!"

Remember, save now, deny yourself (only possible if you are willing and with God's help).
Look to Jesus to cover your wounds.  Of course, you will not be without pain. No one in this life escapes that.  But your pain will be less in the long term, and your joy greater for choosing Jesus.  I cannot describe how wonderful, what a wonderful and good healer He is.  If you need help knowing this, listen to"Reckless Love" by Cory Asbury, watch Akianne paint about Him, read your Bible (novel idea) lol.... There are so many, many great resources that will encourage you to stay true to your King, even Pinterest. Type "God's Love" on the internet. Keep searching, searching/seeking  Him. Don't give up until He reveals Himself to you.