After a day of having to bear a heavy load, that left me in tears.....I started reflecting....
I was thinking back today on this moment several years ago, as I was walking on a forgiveness road, a rough patch actually. And I had read this story of twin brothers. One whose live was a wreck; he was an alcoholic, had been through some failed marriages, was distanced from his children. The other had quite a nice life, successful career, happily married, a good family life.
This story hit me like a ton of bricks, because someone asked the brothers the reason why their lives were the way they were and they had the same response: "growing up with an alcoholic father."
I knew at that moment I really had a choice. Was I going to choose the road of being bitter or better?
It was so hard. I was very bitter. I struggle with bitterness to this day. But on this day, and it was like moving a 2 ton boulder for me emotionally, or swinging around a crane with physical force, but I took hold of that 2 ton brick of bitterness and I turned it around. I said, "no, "
I WILL NOT BE BITTER
I will allow this to make me better. Although this was a turning point in my life, there are still many, many instances that come up where I have an opportunity like this......And I have to choose the high road. I had a pretty terrible day even yesterday, having the anxieties attack me and then (of course). rejection from a student compounding that. But, I can see where it prepared me for today, an even worse day! I looked up a lot of positive messages and they helped. Thank heavens I did that! Also, for my breakfast meal, I read Hinds Feet on High Places which talks about the Valley of Humiliation. I didn't know how MUCH I was going to NEED that! I didn't know I was going to get whacked with a 2 x 4 today!! I guess God thought I needed a little more 'fire' or fertilizer, however you want to look at it.
Here are a few "messages" from Pinterest last night:
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