Prayers are like wishes thrown into the Universe with a hopeful expectant return....learning to pray in peace

 

Prayers are like wishes thrown into the Universe

with a hopeful, expectant return.

Lately,  God has been teaching me to pray in a new way.  I stumbled upon it while reading Joyce Meyer's Battlefield of the Mind book.  

That, along with a few other resources have have helped me to pray in a more worshipful, God-honoring way.  

First of all,  I love praying!   It's my favorite ministry at church.  I started a prayer group and kept up with it for a lot of years.  Whenever someone mentions prayer, I'm in!   I have to pay a tribute here to my friend that has gone on to be with the Lord.  Prayer with her was always a worshipful experience where you really felt the presence of God.  Think of the most beautiful things you have seen, done and experienced here on earth.  Then, sprinkle it generously with a covering of holiness.   It is super-difficult to describe the closeness, warmth, fellowship you feel when you pray with someone who has an ocean-deep relationship with the Lord.  It was pure heavenly. 

But I have an embarrassing confession to make.                                                                                              A lot of my prayers were more like whining and complaining.  They must've scratched God's ears like an out-of-tune violin.  I'm still a bit rusty, but I'm learning not to ask so much, so desperately, needy- and complaining-like. I think it is more now like a refreshing wave of the ocean (to both me and God)!  I think He asks us to pray this way, not so much for His sake, but for ours.  

This is how I pray now (most times).  When I close my eyes and think of a person or situation that needs help or changing, I start with Thanksgiving.  I thank the Lord for the person and all the ways they have blessed my life.  Even listing the ways out on paper is great!  Then, I bow to the LORD in a worshipful way and just look to God while simultaneously lifting the person up to God WITHOUT ANY WORDS.  I continue to worship God, thanking Him for what He is already doing in the situation!                                                                                             

Also, praying like this helps me to more get to the bottom of things....like what is REALLY needed.  I would say most of my prayers are about people and how [I think], but sometimes it is a yes, truly...that they need to change.  When I just close my eyes and think about the person (people) in a thankful way, sometimes I begin to see possible reasons that they may act a certain way.  It always lends me to have more compassion for them!  Is it previous life experiences that has wounded, jaded or made them think in a certain way? Is it fears of being vulnerable, trusting or opening up?

Another BIGGIE- and I do mean BIG!  thing that praying this way has helped- is for me see my own discrepancies...ways I need to act toward them that needs changed!  Do I need to be more kind? (the answer is almost always, YES!) And God helps me to be kind, which in turn changes the relationship to more of what I want!

The Payoff:                                                                                                                                                      I've seen God has do some real miracles.....It's like the song, "miracles upon miracles".  It's amazing!  Exciting!  Fulfilling!  Earth shattering!  God is sooo Good!  (All the time). 

One of the biggest changes I've seen is in my husband and myself and our relationship.  I have to admit I was a pretty naggy wife.  Of course....these were things that needed changed, but also of course, nagging was not the answer!  So...several of his bad habits have been changed!   WITH NO WORD COMING OUT OF MY NAGGING MOUTH!  Hallelujah!  Amen...      And, get this!   The bad habits only changed after I stopped saying ANYTHING.  (it was pretty difficult, but the amazing answers to prayers have spurred me on to more worshipful, thankful prayer and less talking, nagging, complaining both to God and my husband)!       If someone could've recorded the look on my face when he told me he was going to stop doing x, y, z!  One of the habits ceased because he had to have a conversation with his grandson on why he was doing ____,  and he was told simply, because "his pappy did it!".......Out of the mouths of babes!  lol.  I looked like I swallowed a canary when he told me that!  I wanted to laugh hysterically, but of course, I just nodded and smiled with my 'canary' look!  :) 

 

     

Social Anxiety's Nemesis

 

    When I began to change like a worm in a chrysalis, it was a process.  The LORD showed me how ‘closed’ I was.  When you are always expecting the worst from people, it puts like a veil or blanket over you that prevents you from connecting with others.  It only just adds to your pain, as it is very lonely.  

    One of my first steps in overcoming Social Anxiety was to deliberately choose to be open.  Open to people.

This is not necessarily easy for someone who has been entrenched in a chrysalis of their own making for many years.  It takes time.  Years.

Just yesterday, I was heading for the gym at my school, knowing that the whole school would be there when I walked in.  

It’s like a saw from a physical standpoint what my ‘closed-ness’, anxiety looked like.  It was head-down,  toes curled tightly inward.  

So, I deliberately made the choice for my mental mindset to cast off the ‘inwardness’, curling in,  and chose to open my mind to what lay ahead of me.  It was a fun game between staff and students.  

Praise God!  We are overcoming!  He has VICTORY in store for the upright!  Victory! Victory! Victory! Victory! Victory! Victory! Victory! 

I just want to be normal

 

I read about someone who had sadly committed suicide and one of his laments was that he just wanted to be 'normal.' 

I totally get that.  I have thought that many times.

Some of the things I would recommend for someone going through this:

1).  This too shall pass....this mentality is life-giving.  It is hope with wings.  It gets our focus off ourselves and our situation.  Maybe bad feelings will persist, but you use your mind and will to choose to believe that things will change...It does take work, though.  You must deliberately refuse negative thoughts (which can seem constant).  You must fill your mind with everything good and true and right.  

(It is actually a bit grueling for me to write this as I am trying to put myself back into those un-fun places where I would think these thoughts.  It's like going to the edge of the abyss and just hoping I don't fall in again, lol).  

I really feel for you, though.    You're worth it.     

2). So much of all these feelings really start with your thoughts.  Your thoughts and your attitude.

I know something that precipitates the "I just want to be normal"  idea is that things that come so easy for others, we have to scrimp and scavenge and work so hard for.   It can seem unfair.  A very special person once said,  "So much has been given to me, that I do not have time to dwell on that which has not."  That person was Helen Keller, who was deaf and dumb and blind.  

I guess one thing to keep in mind is that there actually is a reason.  There is a reason you're going through all this.  You probably weren't supposed to have to go through all this, but you know the world is a pretty messed up place.  The detour, the desert you are walking through will eventually have a purpose in your life.  If you keep persevering, keep choosing gratitude (for everything good), keep saying 'no' to the thoughts that want to drag you into the pit, keep deliberately choosing to focus on all the good, keep believing the Universe of it all has a plan that is good and true and right, and obey you will make it!  What I mean by obey is that inner voice that is leading you, telling you what you need to be doing- you need to listen to it and act upon it.  

And one of the most profound and freeing things you can do is forgive.  Yes, I know, that dirty word, again.  But we are able to forgive because of His death on the tree.  Put that person there.  If you don't have a person to put there, put your disability there.   Jesus took their place so you can forgive, be forgiven and be whole.  The Universe (Jesus)  became YOU, the you you don't want to be, so that you can be resurrected, whole, complete.

Getting out from under this is possible, even probable, but you do have to take those steps.  Forgiveness.  Being open to what He has for you.  Embracing His death so you can be resurrected again, too.  And the absolute best thing of all?  Knowing He will never leave you.  

He won't leave you in the PIT.

He won't leave you in your shame

He won't leave you in your circumstance

He is making the way.  He is the way.            

COLOR YOUR WORLD BETTER; Use your imagination for good not evil

 

Color Your World With Light

The pain of being traumatized especially by someone who was supposed to care for you as a child can color your whole world....in dark gray monotones.

I hate to say this, but for most of my life I have seen Giants instead of Milk and Honey, especially in regards to people.  I always imagined people were saying or thinking bad things about me, a lot of times before I even met them!  And many times, especially afterward.  Talk about dark, negative thoughts...

But lately, God has been re-writing my story.  He is turning the river of pain into a river of forgiveness.  He is turning self-focus into Himself and Others' focus.  Let me be clear, this takes A LOT of work on my part.  God does the miracle in my heart, but I am the one working to CHOOSE forgiveness,  to CHOOSE to let go of inflated (or deflated, but anyhow, anyway WAY TOO MUCH FOCUS ON MYSELF)!  I pray and ask him to remind me anytime I have a negative thought about what others are thinking or about my own performance, or any other specific outcome.  He Does Do IT.  It is very eye-opening about this driver of anxiety.     

Back to the nuts and bolts of it.   So anytime I have a thought like that or even sometimes just for practice,  I imagine situations GOING WELL!  I imagine my desired outcome.  I imagine connections and good relationships with others.  I actually picture it and 'see' it within my mind.  

This is basically using faith, like Caleb and Joshua did in the promised land.  The Israelites sent them and 10 others to spy out the land they were going to take over.  Everyone except Caleb and Joshua saw GIANTS.  Caleb and Joshua said "Ah shucks!  They aint nothin'!  With God on our side we can overtake them!  It is a GOOD land, flowing with milk and honey.  Sadly the people listened to the negative voices and allowed them to overtake the good ones.  You can read about it in the Bible in the book of  Numbers 13 and 14.   

I feel I need to warn you as well, not to turn away from this 'simple' answer to defeating anxiety.  It WILL work with patience,  much hard work changing your thoughts and God's help!  I turned away from faith once because I thought it was 'too simple' of an answer for my issues.  I sufferent greatly because of it and caused suffering and grief within my family.

But thanks be to God, who is faithful and true, slow to anger, quick to forgive!  He has seen me through all trials and will continue until the Day

Dwelling

 

I was reading The Broken Way   and struggling to make it through the first few chapters.    And I had the thought that Dwelling on the Bitter does not make it Better.     I also had the thought that it really is your (my)  [lack of]  self worth that is the main contributor....If we get that straightened out.....knowing, believing Our Value.....the pain subsides

Sometimes it's like you're a flag on a flagpole and you just have to hang on.

Sometimes it's like you're a flag on a flagpole and you just have to hang on 

There are so many instances where this statement applies...Sometimes you are in a job where you keep working your but off and you keep getting passed up.....hang on.

Sometimes you have an addiction that tempts you daily.....hang on.

Sometimes you are  tormented by your own anger tempting you at every turn to blow up....hang on.

Sometimes you are just plum tired and have to keep working...hang on

Sometimes anxiety courses through your mind and affects your body, too, and you can't control it....hang on

Sometimes the temptation is the quiet type, like depression that cuts like a knife in your heart, and it's all you can do to hang on.

Sometimes it's all of the above at once, in a hurricane force gale....and you have to hang on for dear life!

I was having a day like that yesterday....and talking to God usually helps. He usually leads me to a comforting scripture or message of some sort.  But .....

                                                  there 

                                                   was

                                                  only

                                                 silence.

 I tried confessing my sins.  I asked for prayer from friends.  I tried just listening.........nothing.             Nothing worked to get me out of my oppression.

The only verse that was last in my mind that morning before going to work, was .....Wait Upon The LORD......so, I did.....only barely.......I was like a scrappy mess emotionally.....like one of  those flags that have seen its better days,  but are still out there, flying,  hanging onto the pole.

I'm writing this to encourage you.  At the end of the day,  I finally got my message from the LORD.  It was simply BELIEVE.  A lot of the things that were tormenting me were problems that I have been dealing with. The rhetorical question hanging in my mind was......

Are you going to believe?   

Are you going to believe things are going to get better or are you going to hang onto your pessimism, your grouchiness, your "I hate (fill in the blank-with whatever you are hating right now)"  attitude?    It really is that simple.

You still have to endure the dark days that feel like you're in a tunnel and you are never going to get out.  But on the other side of the tunnel, you are faced with 

What               will                you               believe?

I CHOOSE to believe things are going to get better with the situations/problems that I am facing.  I CHOOSE to  believe we am going to come out on the other side, victorious!   I CHOOSE to believe, that though I am a flag on the flagpole today,  tomorrow I will be walking on solid ground across the bridge of faith to an unknown GOOD plan that God has for me!

As for me and my house,  we will serve the LORD....Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve. 

Joshua 24:15

I am giving credit in this article to the LORD, of course, and also to Steven, my husband, who inspires me and encourages me every day to CHOOSE BELIEF......because that's how he lives his life!

the tender hands of God (with awe)

 My God,  You are so tender with me

Even, espcially when I am harsh with myself

God, my God 

how you love

with passionate abandonment